Daddy told me the silliest story the other day. He said golden retrievers are not the smartest dogs in the world.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. 

Hey, Gracie Gurley here with Gracie’s Tale #12. 

Daddy read the silly article to me. Border collie this, German Shepherd that. Poodles… whatever (but those giant poodles are pretty sweet).

The article said I was #4. The story says smart is all about being fast. Fastest to obey. Fastest to learn. Fastest to get things done.

Who decided this?

Golden retrievers live on the other side of fast (no, not that side). We take a different path to smart. 

Here is how the article rated dogs:

Obedience. The story says humans want dogs to do what they’re told… quickly. Goldens are thinkers. We assess each moment. We evaluate the options. And sometimes (most times), we determine that fast isn’t the right option.

Focus. Not everything is serious. Here’s a great example. I’m playing catch with my momma in the house and I’m very focused on her and the ball. I’m serious at that moment. Suddenly, I hear the tap-tap-tap of daddy’s sharp knife slicing a banana. I stop, I analyze, and quickly reorder my priorities. That’s focus!

Work. This one is fuzzy. What’s with those black and white dogs that herd/chase sheep on TV? I’m lucky that I live in a right to work household… I can’t be made to work. However, being a team player when it suits me, I can and do perform important tasks for the family. I can herd ground squirrels, which live near the top of my there’s-no-such-thing-as-a-good-squirrel scale. Or, I can guard the back yard, ready to bark (and slowly back into the house if necessary) when some animal jumps over our six foot fence. None have so far since I’ve been here. That’s real work. 

Learning. Goldens learn on many levels. We want what we want. When we want it. That sometimes annoys daddy. For example, he doesn’t like me (and Ellie, btw) running through his flowers. Well, he forgets that his flowers are only there for a short time. They are visitors. We live here. What’s not clear about that? 

Awareness. What is this? Some human trick to let Border Collie’s win the contest. I know where everything in my world is. Nothing gets by me that I don’t put at least one eye on. 

So, back to my problem with being #4. 

Fast is nice (I guess, if you’re a poodle).

Nice is better.

My way works!

Related Tales from Gracie

Tale #10: Catch rath than fetch. Gracie would rather play catch than fetch. But her favorite part of playing with Daddy turns out to have very little to do with the ball.

Tale #11: You call it a walk. I call it a stop. Daddy thinks walks are about walking. Gracie knows that stopping and smelling is where the good stuff happens.